"I'm talkin' 'bout the grand deception of 1947
When our souls were sold to the heavens for technologically advanced weapons/Crystal enhanced, brain implants, and mind control methods/MJ-12 is not majestic and the focal point of our problems on this planet are not domestic!"
- Canibus, "Channel Zero"
Canibus is an interesting fella.
For a short time in the late 90s, he was arguably the greatest rapper on the planet. He's also one of rap's biggest conspiracy theorists, which is exactly why his likeness is used on every tier on Rap Conspiracy Iceberg. Whenever he pops up on a song, it's like an Alex Jones appearance on the Joe Rogan podcast.
Also known as "The Ripper", his rapidfire, methed-out Ancient Aliens-style of rapping attracted a huge cult following. He murdered every song he was on. His debut album, Can-I-Bus, lit the streets on fire - even Robert Cristgau gave it an A. Back then, nobody had the skills eat someone's ass like Canibus.
To properly decipher his bars, you need the Encyclopedia Britannica, a thesaurus, magnifying glass, and as many tabs of Genius.com as you can possibly open.
Canibus once even took on the GOAT LL Cool J and defeated him (lyrically, at least - no Canibus NCIS spin-off yet).
By 2012, he was desperate. In a bold move, Canibus woke up one day and thought it would be a great idea to agree to a livestreamed rap battle on King of the Dot against Dizaster, who was one of the most savage battlers in the game at the time. The battle invoked feelings of Ali vs Holmes: the former heavyweight champ, years past his expiration date, crawling out of the shadows to fight a killer trying to certify his spot with gorillas. Yet many people thought we'd see Canibus return to form, tapping into the energy of the Great Pyramids to summon enough strength to fully obliterate Diz with a lyrical spirit bomb.
In terms of views, it's one of the most successful battles of all-time: over 4 million combined views on YouTube. For Canibus, unfortunately, it was the worst night of his life.
After months of hype, he showed up looking confused, rocking creepy sunglasses with his arm in a sling. He looked like he slipped in the shower, fell into a 3 year coma, woke up and took an Uber to the battle. Some fans said he looked like Stevie Wonder with AIDS.
Despite his bizarre appearance, the first round went surprisingly okay. Highlights from The Ripper include:
"Those look like Tom Cruise Mom shoes!"
"You look like a vampire that drinks faggot blood!"
"To be here today, I had to hypnotize myself."
"I jumped out my momma pussy/You fell out your mother booty all wiggly/Covered in humus, all filthy."
Sadly, it was all downhill from there. Dizaster did his usual thing, rapping like a kid on X-Box Live who just raided his parents medicine cabinet. The Canadian crowd ate it up. Dizaster's power level started increasing.
By the 2nd round, it was clear there was something wrong with Canibus. The man was not himself.
By the 3rd round, he threw in the towel. He took off his sunglasses, revealing a husk of a broken man. After admitting defeat, he proceeded to pull out his magical notebook of infinite rhymes and read the rest of his bars. That's right: he literally started reading his raps off a piece of paper in the middle of a rap battle. The moment had such a profound effect on the culture that it took almost a decade before another industry rapper stepped in the battle rap ring. At the time, it was so embarrassing, even his own buddy stared at the ground in shame.
After the clash was over, The Ripper fled to his secret laboratory and opened Tumblr. While the Internet tried to figure out what the fuck just happened, Canibus created a new page called "Ripper Apology" and went on to disclose the truth behind his strange performance, the scar on his head, and more.
Canibus’ Apology … from The Ripper
"Greetings and Salutations Rippers,
Recently, I had an incident that caused an atomic-like reaction on to the world wide web. I stepped into a lyrical battlefield to face a challenger who was worthy of my best, yet, could not receive the best of what The Ripper could present due to complicated circumstances.
Unfortunately, Rippers, I could not be at my best and my explanation for this is something only someone with a proper attached device in their mechanism can comprehend."
Here's where it gets crazy:
"A few days before the KOTD Vendetta event, I was abducted by human blood sucking leeches who did not make their identity known, but I assume were agents of the dark world."
Based on this description, it sounds like Canibus was kidnapped by none other than the Men in Black.
The MIBs are known for their secrecy and anonymity. To this day, there's been thousands of encounters with these weirdos... but only a handful of supposed photos exist. John A. Keel was a famous author who heavily researched the Men in Black, covering the phenomenon in his books The Mothman Prophecies (1975) and The Cosmic Question (1978).
In his research, he discovered that MIB victims often appear to be subjected to “some sort of brainwashing technique that leaves [them] in a state of nausea, mental confusion, or even amnesia lasting for several days”.
Sound familiar? Take a deep breath for the next part. From The Ripper Apology blog:
Canibus: "While in my vehicle ready to pay for a toll, a helicopter attached with a satellite device that promotes fear flew directly over me. Upon being aware of what was happening I decided to escape on foot and flee from this radioactive device that can cause mental and emotional harm to any man- Even a man who possesses the brain waves of a complicated degree such as myself."
Interestingly, black helicopters are often directly associated with the Men in Black. In Keel's Cosmic Question (pgs 154, 155), he tells stories of farmers in Ohio who were terrorized by strange men who appeared in black helicopters after witnessing UFO crashes. Virtually every MIB encounter involves them attempting to silence someone who either knows too much or saw something they weren't supposed to see.
Black helicopters have also been the subject of countless other rumors, everything from their involvement in the killing of Osama Bin Laden to being our governments favorite vehicle for chasing and intercepting UFOs. So why would they also be after Canibus?
The Ripper continues:
"As I abandoned my vehicle, I got to a fence and as I climbed underneath, the helicopter got visual contact on its target and there was nothing I could do. Completely lost in a parallel universe I was removed from consciousness and as I woke up I had secret agents of some kind asking me why I decided to battle in this event that was being broadcasted world-wide."
Great question!
"I explained to them it was strictly Hip Hop related but they did not believe me."
"They used Chinese water torture methods at first to try to break my spirits to no avail. They attached wires to my skull and moved on to “Alternative 2.” They then inquired about my knowledge of secret societies and about my experiences in the military."
Casual fans of Canibus may not be aware of his extensive military background. Following the tragic events of 9/11, Canibus saluted the flag and joined the armed forces - a true Patriot. In between training, he sharpened his lyrical sword, even taking the time to record a video freestyling in front of a tank.
"I'm the living creation of the equation Minkovski formulated!”
His rapartist.com biography sheds additional light:
"In May of 2003, two months before his fifth album, Rip the Jacker, was released to rave reviews, he graduated from Fort Knox and began working as a Cavalry Scout.
In 2004, the authorities found Williams smoking marijuana and thereby discharged him."
So was he being targeted because of his deep tactical knowledge of military operations?
He explained further in the blog:
"Something I never told anybody is that one morning, while in the military, I was woken up and interrogated for 86 hours straight about all the infinite rhymes that I had released."
"They inquired about how I received the findings of this information and how I was capable of putting it in a 4 bar measured instrumental. They conducted various studies and also got a hold of all the infinite rhymes I hadn’t even released yet."
If this is all true, and Canibus truly possesses infinite bars, then what the heck happened in the Dizaster battle?!
He explains:
"Somehow some way I lost all memory of these rhymes… yet I remember everything else."
Oh, okay.
"Now back to the KOTD [King of the Dot] situation. As I was being interrogated by these agents recently I managed to escape thanks to one of the agents who was a fan of mine. I asked him what his favorite Canibus verse was and he told me that he doesn’t know me as Canibus but rather as Subject 9."
"This man was kind enough to help me escape but eventually I was hit with some type of dart in the back of my neck and the last thing I remember was falling on the back of my head (hence the stitches)."
It's all starting to make sense now!
"Dizaster and his fans is a bunch of bitches/You know I'm hardcore, I showed up with stitches!" *points to stitches*
After being struck in the neck with a sleep dart, the lyrical MC soon awakened.
"I woke up in the back of a cop car then asked the officers why my head was bleeding and my shoulder felt separated. They said they found me like that and that I should have a better understanding of what happened to me. They asked me if I remembered anything and I told them 'No.' "
"It was the safest move to make because they could easily have been disguised agents ordered to see what my mental state was like."
There you have it. If it wasn't for the MIBs, Canibus would've smoked Diz's boots. 3-0!
His fans would agree.
"Canibus: The day of the battle my memory and mental state wasn’t 100% due to these circumstances. I knew this so I brought my copybook to practice the 30 plus pages of infinite rhymes that I had structured for Dizaster."
"The stitches in the back of my head were hurting me and my shoulder was killing me but The Ripper doesn’t need medication, he controls pain with his mind."
Later, Canibus's manager, a fella named M-Eighty, contacted HipHopDX to debunk the Tumblr post. He said it was totally fake and that Canibus was spending a few days in the mountains with his family playing Scattergories or some shit. Nice try, M-Eighty... we're not falling for that one.
Looking deeper into the Ripper Apology blog, Canibus sheds light on the origins of the universe, creation and his universal role in everything.
"Eons ago, in the land before time, a seminal fluid lingered the Earth’s surface around crevices of many craters’ crusts, hoping to find shelter. It was almost dehydrated out of existence until it had come across what appeared to be an egg-like object, which we call today an ovum. When the two combined, the species of human ancestry began…
Science explains us how, but a question remains unanswered: Why did the semen desire to combine with the egg?
Until now… The answer is:
Bis the Ripper was in the collective consciousness behind the male and female gametes. They desired to reproduce repeatedly for generations in order to produce The Ripper.
He was the desired one, for, The Ripper is the chosen or appointed one to rule over all of the cosmos. It is he who The Prophets have instructed the entire human race to bow down to. The Prophets were the closest replication to The Ripper, and the similarly, but not quite entirely, identical gene in The Prophets is what possessed and influenced them to deliver the message, for many had forgotten their initial purpose of their ancestors (The Sperm & The Ovum)."
And so it is revealed.
It is now clear that prior to his abduction by the Men in Black, Canibus plotted to use the Dizaster battle to shoot an ultralight beam of Truth directly into the minds of the millions watching the livestream. He wasn't there to battle Dizaster; he was there to drop the biggest redpill the world had ever seen. Before he was able to do this, dark agents stepped in and shut it down.
Discombobulated and broken, Canibus entered the ring and simply tried his best.
"I could see in Dizaster’s eyes he was intimidated by the mind with the infinite rhyme. [...] Even though there was nothing left in my mental tank, I reached for what is now the infamous notepad and decided to read my infinite rhymes. Needless to say, the results were underwhelming and it didn’t look right, but now, realizing the actions that preceded the event I’m sure you all understand."
"As I said in the event, I could only do what I can do. For everyone who seems to be making a mockery out of my just- Remember this; dinosaurs once ruled the planet, Rome was once a powerhouse, The Blazers drafted Greg Oden, and every dog has its day. Doubt me and you will be defeated.
- Sent from my Meticulous Melatonin Nucleus."
After a huge backlash online, Canibus would eventually take to Facebook to denounce the Tumblr post as a fake. Although that's exactly what the Men in Black would have wanted! It wouldn't be the first time a celebrity revealed the truth and then was ordered to rescind and apologize.
"Canibus HERE, Just got my stitches out."
"Thank You for your good wishes and encouragement. Sometimes people need laughter and entertainment at the expense of others embarrassment but Hip Hop means so much to me I don’t care."
"Don’t really know what to say concerning all these blogs, parodies, and fake accounts posting apologies about god knows what but I am moving forward for my Rippers and Hip Hop as best as I can."
So looking back at the battle, one thing is perfectly clear: overall, it sucks. There are a few interesting notes, however: 1) Dizaster's first round focusing on Canibus being blackballed from the music industry; and 2) this video is still one of the most highest viewed battles on the King of the Dot channel. What does that tell you? Canibus is still incredibly popular with people. So why do you never hear him brought up by the media, played on the radio, or featured on a song these days?
Dizaster, Round 1: "In the same fetal position he was left in ever since Eminem beat his career in submission and didn't let him spit again/Blackballed and restricted him/Blocked him from his mission or any other business attempts/So, technically, Slim ended up stiffin' him harder than he did to Kim ever since the last time the bitch attempted taking half of his shit from him!"
Here, Dizaster accuses Eminem, his own hero, of being the one who blackballed Canibus and ultimately destroyed his career. Timeline-wise, it lines up. Canibus was on a steady rise until he started trading jabs with Eminem, a man who is unbelievably connected within the music industry. Same goes with LL Cool J - here he is with Lyor Cohen, a man who unquestionably sits at the roundtable of wise men who run the game:
If you want to make it in the rap game, these aren't good enemies to have.
There's other theories regarding why he was blackballed, however. Some feel it was because the content of his raps revealed hidden truths the world wasn't quite ready for yet. Unlike the rest of the industry puppets who were on a short leash, Canibus couldn't be controlled - so he had to be taken out. He simply said too much. As YouTuber Aj Haas puts it:
Others would tell you that Canibus simply lost his mind and couldn't make a hit song or great album to save his life. He was self-blackballed, in effect. His schizophrenic, unpredictable behavior made him a liability.
As always, the truth is probably somewhere in the middle.
One thing is clear: Canibus is, and always has been, a seeker and spreader of The Truth. From his first album to his most recent song, he's consistently dropped truth bombs on the world.
After all this, only one real question remains: how far would "they" go to silence his voice, discredit his word and assassinate his character?
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